Why was I affected?

It has been a month since the shooting at Arapahoe.  I am still pretty heartbroken over it.  And I’ve tried over and over to figure out why.  I have many of the same connections as other people:  I went there, I student taught there, I applied to work there, I know people who were there, I work in a school, it happened so close to home, etc.  But I wasn’t there that day.  Why is it still affecting me?

One reason is that I had hope.  When I was a junior in high school, I had a friend die.  I went on a trip and when I came back on Tuesday, I received the news that she was gone.  This gave me something to pray for when I heard about Claire.  There was hope that the ending wouldn’t be the same this time; that these students wouldn’t have to deal with the death of a friend and a fellow student.  It is tough to watch hope die.

A second reason is that I was too busy to care.  When Columbine happened, I was unemployed.  I could drop everything for those who needed to talk; those who needed to hang out.  On September 11th, I was employed very part time and that Tuesday was one of my days off.  I could process and be with others as they processed.  This time, I was committed both Friday night and all day Saturday.  I had work the whole next week.  I didn’t have time to process.  I’m glad that there were a few I got to see, but I didn’t have time to be with many of the others who I would have liked to have been with.

A third reason is because I knew the regrets and hurt that Tracy Murphy was faced with.  About 8 years ago, we had a student at my school who committed suicide in the school parking lot.  Although he did not go on a rampage beforehand, I dealt with all sorts of personal regrets of how I had treated him in the weeks before his death.  In my situation, I wasn’t sure of exactly why the student did what he did.  Mr. Murphy was not given conjecture.  I cannot imagine the sorrow in that heart and I pray for him often.

Finally, I understand the heart of Kyle Pierson.  By all counts, he was a great kid and had a lot going for him.  I too held a grudge against a teacher at Arapahoe.  Although the path I took was very different, I have held bitterness in my heart for over 25 years.  My teacher had no idea of how his words affected me.  He had no idea how alone I felt that day and how his words isolated me even further.  When I consider Kyle, I see significant echoes of my own depressed heart.  Schools around the state are filled with students with emptiness and/or bitterness.  What are we going to do to help them feel connected before they feel that nobody is there with them or for them?

Everybody has processed this incident in their own way, with their own reasons, and in their own time.  Let’s be patient with those who are still hurting.  Let’s be understanding of those who aren’t. Let’s hold out hope to those who need it.  Let’s offer an ear to those who feel isolated and alone.  Let’s make an actual effort – one heart at a time – to make sure that this doesn’t happen again.

Yay Bureaucracy!

So, the other day, I put in a request to buy a few copies of Windows Vista and Office 2007 for my school. I wanted a few people to try running it so that as we get closer to the day the district buys it, I will know some of the ins, outs, and other issues, and will be a lot more effective in training teachers on how to use the new products. I can also test the other software that we have for compatibility. (Keep in mind that these are both huge parts of my job description. Also keep in mind that I have been running the Betas and Release Candidates for both for several months - and love them - I just want to get the official final releases - to see if the RSS issues that I'm having got fixed - among other things. It would also be nice for my entire life not to collapse in April when the Betas expire.)

Of course, my request was turned down.

Now, the reason is the fun part. I was turned down because somebody in ITS (who happened to be me) loaded the Beta for Windows and found an issue that was significant. Well, last week, we upgraded our email software, the main program that I had a conflict with, and so it would be nice to run the new email software on the official release of Windows Vista to see if the problem still exists. But I can't because I previously found an issue and reported it.

Well, I wrote to one of the people whose job is it officially, by the district, to do this testing and reporting, let her know about the hang-up, and she found a way to get me a few copies of both. And my old department chair, who is now her boss, okayed the purchase, so I might be getting back to work soon....

That is, if it ever stops snowing so the shipment can actually get here.... It should all thaw by April. Right?

New Rule!

Do you remember playing tag when you were 4 or 5? There was always some other kid that, whenever you tagged them, they would shout "NEW RULE!" and come up with some stupid reason why you can't have just tagged them.

The game's a lot more irritating when you are 35 and the game has higher stakes.

Staying busy...

Have you ever considered how 2200 students get placed into 300 classes most with multiple sections, but some with just one or two, with as few overlaps as possible? I don't anymore. It is called master scheduling and it is similar to a 3-D version of Tetris or a 35,000 piece puzzle where each piece is the same color.

Living a Parable

So, a short summary of my life:

1. Our school district is switching student information systems in less than a month. Part of my job description is to support the whole school staff through the whole process. Part of my job description is to train all of the teachers at my school how to use the system - most importantly, how to take attendance on April 3rd. (It's also a personal goal to train a few other people in just a little more than just attendance to make my life easier in the long run.)


2. The staff meeting where I was planning to introduce everyone to the primary concepts of the new system got cancelled today because of a pep assembly.


3. I had a four day training on the new product about three weeks ago - I have yet to recover from taking four days off.


4. On the last day of that training, I received notice that (thanks to decisions at the district) Apple Computer was shipping almost 100 new computers to my school - to arrive within the next week. I don't have storage space for 100 computers.


5. My son had surgery on a dermoid cyst last Wednesday. All went well, but I missed yet another day of work and he seems to only feel the pain at bedtime. He also learned two tricks this week: crawling and pulling up. These are two really fun tricks for a child with eight fresh stitches over his left eye. He likes to practice these at bedtime too...


6. The bookkeeper is ending the budget cycle next week so that purchases have time to amortize by the end of the fiscal year. Suffice it to say that I still have budget money to spend.


7. Today, I got a call from my wife while I was at work saying that she had thrown up and that she would like me to come home as early as possible.

I think that sums up the primary points - there are other points, but they involve that I still have family life, normal job duties, and stuff going on at church - so on to the parable.

Tonight, my son was having trouble falling asleep and, of course, only I could attempt to comfort him. It was obvious that he didn't want me, he wanted mommy. It was obvious that his eye was bothering him. It was obvious that he wanted to be moving around and not lying down.

I found myself saying, "If you would just slow down and rest here with daddy, you would realize that everything is going to be okay!"

hmm...

Good game Connor!! :)

per RockyPreps.com

10/22/2005 2:00PM DOUGLAS COUNTY at ARAPAHOE Won 31-24

7-1? 6-2?