And you thought 'Episode I' sucked....

Well, I have just finished watching the Star Wars Holiday Special. (I am quite aware that most of you have never even heard of this disaster in the Star Wars archives.) I was one of those who started watching it 29 years ago and was forced to shut it off by an older brother who thought that it was too stupid to watch....

So, for 29 years I have wondered what I had missed. For about 15 years, I was totally in the dark and actually slightly bitter at my brother - then, thanks to the Internet, geeks around the world began to circulate this awful show on VHS - discussing how awful it was and telling stories of how horribly drunk the cast was.

This year I actually met somebody who admitted to owning a copy. And against my better judgement, I talked him into letting me see it. I have to say that it didn't live down to the awful standard that had proceeded it. I wouldn't say that I actually enjoyed it - but I understand why my brother shut it off. And I understand why it only aired once. And I understand why George Lucas wants to hunt down every bootleg copy of it and destroy it. (To his defense, George's name was nowhere near the credits.)

It is a typical 70s holiday special set in the Star Wars universe. There are lots of other stars doing song and dance numbers. But since it was in a galaxy far far away, there was no Christ for Christmas and so all of the songs were cheesey, new-agey "Life Day" songs. And in typical 70s holiday special style, there was a very disjointed and stupid story line kind of holding the whole thing together. (Sorry, I'm running out of appropriate adjectives here)

I think that the worse part was that the center of action was Chewbacca's family (wife, son and father) and there were no subtitles - just random grunts followed by signs and jestures so that the audience could sort of follow the plot, if they so desired. They could have shortened to whole thing to one hour (yes, shortened - from about two full hours without commercials) by using subtitles. Also to add to character development, they showed some features of the Wookee home and "Life Day presents" which, if removed, could have shortened it to maybe 15 minutes - which is about all it is worth. And a 15 minute show isn't really worth watching, so save yourself some time.

Truly a great argument against non-religious celebration of religious holidays, broadcast television, and drinking.

Thanks Tone