Perspective...

Last night, my daughter refused to eat a chocolate covered strawberry that was offered to her. "Dad," she whispered to me, "I don't want to eat a dirty strawberry."

When she was offered an ice cream bar last night, it seemed that "dirty" ice cream is acceptable.

So long and thanks for all the fish....

*sniff*

[sic]

I received a letter today from a local restaurant. I have removed the restaurant's name to protect the stupid.

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Congratulations.....YOU'RE ARE ALWAYS WINNER...at XYZ!
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To redeem this offer, simply present this letter,(not to exceed $3.99) your server when you order at your local XYZ.
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The General Manager of the restaurant even bothered to hand sign it. All in all, it was a very professional looking letter. Do I highlight it when I return it? Do I add proper proof reading notation?

Colorado

Yeah - I hate these emails just as much as the next guy, but this one actually struck a chord.

You know when you're from Colorado if:

• You'll eat ice cream in the winter.
• The weather report says it's going to be 65 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a skirt.
• It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school to be canceled.
• You'll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.
• You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And then you make fun of them.
• "Humid" is over 25%.
• Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away from the mountains.
• You say "the Interstate" and everybody knows which one.
• You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard, and you grew up planning your halloween costumes around your coat.
• You know what the Continental Divide is.
• You don't think Coors beer is that big a deal.
• You went to Casa Bonita as a child.
• You bought your car from John Elway.
• You were tear gassed at college and you can't even remember why.... something about football...
• You've gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities.
• You always know the elevation of where you are.
• You know that there are two kinds of Colorado Girls: those who shave, and those who don't.
• You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow.
• You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High.
• You know that Colfax is a street you would most likely find a hooker.
• You get pissed off when people confuse Colorado with Kansas, Nebraska, Wyoming, or "one of those other big square states out west."
• When you hear that the Chiefs and the Raiders are having bad seasons,you laugh uncontrollably.
• Every movie theater has military and student discounts.
• Everybody wears jeans to church.
• You actually know that South Park is a real place not just a show on TV.
• You know what a "trust fund hippy" is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder.
• You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradan when they call it Elitches, not Six Flags.
• You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
• Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.
• You know there are different types of snow, and you know not all types are good for sledding, snowballs, or snowmen.
• You've experienced shoveling a driveway, but once you finish, you have to start right over.
• You've been to the original Chipotle near the DU campus on Evans.
• When people out East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just laugh.
• You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.
• At least one family member has some 4 wheel drive vehicle.
• The weather channel calls for snow so you plan a snowboarding/ski trip for the next day and know that a coat won't be necessary because it won't be cold enough.
• You don't even bother checking the news for school cancellations unless you can only see solid white outside your window and your front door won't open.
• You were taught to drive in the snow before you got your license.